Christmas came and went. The highlight of the day was probably -- surprise, surprise -- a call from Leah. She was at her parents' and thought she'd call me to wish me a Merry Christmas. When she found out I was spending Christmas all alone, she said something to the effect of "it's not good for you to be alone." I was struck by how she actually cared. She even invited me over to her place. Hmm... I keep learning more and more about her. Amazing. I was always under the impression she was self-absorbed most of the time and didn't care very much about anybody else but herself. I suppose I'm easily impressed by the kindness others show towards me because I've such low expectations of people. I've come to establish the mindset that "blood really is thicker than water." (Now, since the blood is thin from my perpective, how thin the water must surely be!) I have thus resolved to be as independent as I can possibly be -- both emotionally and materially. I have come to believe strongly in self-reliance. If anyone would throw me a crumb -- a kind word or gesture -- I would gladly lap it all up. Such is my view of the world. My world.
Last night, Sabrina asked me how my Christmas was. I mumbled a quick "it was a quiet one for me." -- meaning I didn't do much. She seemed to be at a loss at what I meant. I was embarrassed. (yet I don't feel like I should be) and quickly elaborated on how I didn't get along with my family. It's times like these I feel like such an oddball.
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